Merry Xmas

Edinburgh

Edinburgh is, I have no doubt, the loveliest city in the UK. Admittedly I’ve never been to Hull, but I’m willing to stick my neck out on the issue. The centre of the city is almost entirely made up of beautiful buildings with the Old Town and the Georgian New Town complementing each other perfectly. Neither the international shopping chains nor the plethora of tartan tourist traps can outweigh its appeal.

Scared of the internet

In the last week or so I’ve had a Facebook stalker who on three occasions has sent me messages about my appearance on my profile photo. Not particularly complimentary, so I think I can write off any chances of them having fallen obsessively in love with me , but equally not insulting so my self-esteem is, thankfully, intact. But the intimidation factor is such that I can’t face going online at the moment, so I will not be using the internet/updating this blog in the next 2 weeks.

Well, actually, I’m going to stay in a flat that has no internet access, but it comes to much the same thing. I can only hope my stalker has a new obsession by the time I get back online.

…and preferably without a monarchy either.

If you go to the Guardian front page at the moment, there is a link to a story entitled “Former royal aide absconds from jail”.

Because, clearly the fact that she used to work for the Windsors is far more important than that she’s also been convicted of murder.

I’m Seriously Thinking of Emigrating

Conservative political poster

Labour political poster

I despair.

This is not just a rhetorical flourish, I really am thinking of emigrating. Some country where they don’t have Cameron, Brown or Jedward.

Possibly Afghanistan?

(story and title lifted from WSC’s messageboard)

Rome, Sweet Rome (part i)

I never got around to typing up some bits of my trip, so will try and rectify that now, I went to Rome after Florence and before Vienna

I arrived in Rome on a Sunday. there is surely only one thing that one can do in the capital of Christendom on the sabbath. And thus I spent most of the day trying to find a laundrette open. The only actual sightseeing I did was to look around St Paul’s Square. Now size isn’t everything, but scale is pretty important and the proportions here are excellent. Big enough to impress, and to hold a sizable crowd (though at the end of the day when I got there it was almost deserted) but without being so big as to look like a parade ground. Most significantly its fit for its current purpose, not just a relic of Rome’s great past.

They Still Haven’t Found What They Are Looking For

When short of material, a blogger always has the trusty fall back of search terms that people used that Google sent to their site. Here are a few recent ones for here:

• “where can i buy david dimblebys tie” (x2) – I only wish I knew. Then I could try and put them out of business.
• “bestialité moyen-âge” – I hope they were looking for bestiality from the Middle Ages rather than bestiality involving middle-aged people. In any event this blog is a bestiality free zone.
• “bavarian faces” – I genuinely am not sure what they were hoping to get here.
• “sexual brutality” (x2)  – Eww.

Olomouc

Heading towards Krakow and Poland, I break my trip in Olomouc (pronounced Ola-moats), the former capital of Moravia, hoping for the charm of Prague without the bustle. And charm is what Olomouc will have to rely on, as it lacks the grandeur of the capital. Its annual festival is taking place the weekend I’m there, so that should be a good start.

All I want for Christmas is a Prague away trip

First evening productively spent on the computer following England’s exit from the cricket world cup and catching up on this journal’s backlog. The latter appears to be a recurring theme and I’m wondering if “blog” is actually a shortened form of “backlog”. Out into the city the next morning and immediately accosted by a drunken (maybe 17) who is on a school trip from the provinces. Clearly looking to improve his English he barraged me with questions – most problematically = where did you finish school – to the great amusement of his friend and increasingly passers-by on the tram. Sadly my knowledge of Czech doesn’t extend to “performance art, ladies and gentlemen, please give generously.” Actually my Czech doesn’t even extend to “yes” and “no”. Another thing about Prague trams, particularly the older ones is that when pulling away they make a sound just like the opening notes to Piece of Me by Britney Spears, before making a screeching sound for most of the rest of the time. I’m sure you can all think of your own punchline here, but I think Piece of Me is awesome.

It’s Vienna, the World, as we know it, and I feel fine.

Unlike the rest of this trip where I’ve been walking round by myself most of the time, in Vienna I had a full-time guide. Alert readers may remember mention of a couple of Austrian girls who I met in Valencia who offered to show me round Vienna, and although unfortunately Ally couldn’t make it, Sabina generously sacrificed her weekend to show me the sights. While this was great for me, it meant that I told her any jokes I thought of, so I haven’t got (m)any left for you.

Before I arrived, my ideas about Vienna were almost entirely derived from Before Sunrise, one of my favourite films, which showed a lot of the city as a backdrop to the plot. And it looked a beautiful city. However, in 3 days here, I barely recognised a single scene from the movie – but still saw a lot of lovely stuff. So I guess there’s a lot of prettiness in Vienna.