1. Michael Douglas
2. Minnie Driver (I can see the resemblance here)
3. Sienna Miller
4. Bill Cosby (maybe Bill Cosby 20 years ago)
5. Keira Knightley (identified by Mair)
6. Rhys Ifans
7. David Hasselhoff (idenitfied by Lucy)
8. Simon Pegg (identified by Mair)
9. Jude Law

Arrived at Corrour station on Friday evening. It is supposedly the most remote train station in the UK (it doesn’t even have road access) and, most relevantly for me, has a very short platform that happened to be next to the opposite end of the train from the door which I was waiting by. I had to career down the length of the train, no doubt to great amusement of everyone else on it – at least the ones who didn’t get clattered by my rucksack along the way. Then it was a mile walk to the hostel, on the banks of Loch Ossian. It was a lovely setting. The hostel is in deer territory, and it was suggested that if visitors were “very lucky, they might see a stag or two”. A refreshing change from Edinburgh, where one usually seeks to avoid stags.

The hostel itself is very modern, with cutting edge eco-technology. That technology is not however sufficiently cutting edge to power a fridge or showers.

On the Saturday it was a really nice day, and I set off for a walk round the loch. The guide I had was written in typical British understatement, saying that it was a “rewarding” walk that “might be interesting”. It also said that some of the route might be “a bit wet”, by which it meant you’d be ankle deep in a peat bog. I started off trying to leap neatly from one dry patch to another, before realising that it was pointless and charging straight ahead. Having circumnavigated the loch, I headed up the hill opposite, Bheinn a’ Bhric (easy for you to say) from where I could see Loch Trieg.

To plagiarise myself – unfortunately I always skip passages in literature that describe landscapes so my vocabulary is inadequate for describing the views. But they were dead good, like.

Next day, took the train to Ardlui, by Loch Lomond. One detail reminded me how out of the way I was – the stations still have litter bins. So fuck you, terrorists, the people of Corrour and Ardlui aren’t scared of you! But Ardlui and Loch Lomond were much less out of the way, Ardlui had a marina, which spewed out power boats and twats on jetskis to despoil the setting. Still, Loch Lomond is difficult to spoil properly. There was also the Ardlui Hotel with a bar looking out over the loch, which was very pleasant. One caveat, I drank 2 pints there, and in that time the hotel music played This Is The Life by Amy McDonald, four times. If one of the staff goes mad and slays seven with a hatchet, I know where I’ll be laying the blame for pushing them over the psychological edge.

Back by Loch Ossian then, but now the wind has dropped and suddenly the midges are attacking, coming down in a swarm of biblical proportions. I feel like saying, seriously take my first born, but spare me from any more bloody midges. In other plague news, there were also lots of frogs, but they weren’t much of a problem.

Then, Monday back to civilisation and a shower. Mmm.

Via OTF

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Patient: “Um. I think I have an STI.”

Me: “Okay. What symptoms do you have that makes you think that?”

Patient: “Well, I don’t really know. My computer told me to be here.”

Me: “Oh, did you do a self-analysis online?”

Patient: “No. I’m not sure. I’m here, I need to be here!”

Me: “Exactly what did your computer tell you?”

Patient: “Don’t judge me! Stop it! I need to be here!”

Me: “I can assure you that I am not judging you. Can you explain to me exactly what happened before you came here?”

Patient: “Well, I was looking at some porn last night online and this morning I turned my computer on and it told me I have a virus!”

Me: “Uh.”

Patient: “Stop judging me!”

From the reliably amusing (and terrifying) Not Always Right.

“Determined, but moist…”

day 01 – your favourite song: I Put A Spell On You – Nina Simone
day 02 – your least favourite song: I Believe I Can Fly – R Kelly
day 03 – a song that makes you happy: Uptown Top Ranking – Althea and Donna
day 04 – a song that makes you sad: John Wayne Gacy jr – Sufjan Stevens
day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone: Caroline No – The Beach Boys
day 06 – a song that reminds of you of somewhere: Goodnight Moon – Shivaree
day 07 – a random awesome song: Werewolf – Cat Power
day 08 – a song that you know all the words to: Razzmatazz – Pulp
day 09 – a song that you can dance to: I’m Comin’ On Back To You – Jackie Wilson
day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep: Dying Slowly – Tindersticks
day 11 – a song from your favourite artist: Dead Flowers – Townes van Zandt
day 12 – a song from a band you hate: You Came, You Saw, You Conquered – The Ronettes
day 13 – a song that is a guilty pleasure: Mean When I’m Mad – Eddie Cochran
day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love: Take A Bow – Rihanna
day 15 – a song that describes you: Dr Love – Bobby Sheen
day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate: I Wish It Would Rain Down – Phil Collins
day 17 – another random awesome song: Walk Through The Fire – Mary Gauthier
day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio: Lemon Incest – Serge & Charlotte Gainsbourg
day 19 – a song from your favourite album: Busby Berkeley Dreams – Magnetic Fields
day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry: Kill The Poor – Dead Kennedys
day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy: You Moved In – Smog
day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad: Sad and Beautiful World – Sparklehorse
day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding: It’s Only Time – Magnetic Fields
day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral: I Should Have Been Watching You – Hayden
day 25 – a song that makes you laugh: Three Ha’pence A Foot – Stanley Holloway
day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 – a song that you wish you could play
day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 – a song from your childhood
day 30 – your favourite song at this time last year

Not just suitably elegaic, but expresses clearly the one thing I’m certain I’ll feel when I die – that I should have paid more attention to the person I love (whoever that may be!)

(I see that video currently has been seen a mere 51 times, I want to see that number increase exponentially)

day 01 – your favourite song: I Put A Spell On You – Nina Simone
day 02 – your least favourite song: I Believe I Can Fly – R Kelly
day 03 – a song that makes you happy: Uptown Top Ranking – Althea and Donna
day 04 – a song that makes you sad: John Wayne Gacy jr – Sufjan Stevens
day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone: Caroline No – The Beach Boys
day 06 – a song that reminds of you of somewhere: Goodnight Moon – Shivaree
day 07 – a random awesome song: Werewolf – Cat Power
day 08 – a song that you know all the words to: Razzmatazz – Pulp
day 09 – a song that you can dance to: I’m Comin’ On Back To You – Jackie Wilson
day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep: Dying Slowly – Tindersticks
day 11 – a song from your favourite artist: Dead Flowers – Townes van Zandt
day 12 – a song from a band you hate: You Came, You Saw, You Conquered – The Ronettes
day 13 – a song that is a guilty pleasure: Mean When I’m Mad – Eddie Cochran
day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love: Take A Bow – Rihanna
day 15 – a song that describes you: Dr Love – Bobby Sheen
day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate: I Wish It Would Rain Down – Phil Collins
day 17 – another random awesome song: Walk Through The Fire – Mary Gauthier
day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio: Lemon Incest – Serge & Charlotte Gainsbourg
day 19 – a song from your favourite album: Busby Berkeley Dreams – Magnetic Fields
day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry: Kill The Poor – Dead Kennedys
day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy: You Moved In – Smog
day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad: Sad and Beautiful World – Sparklehorse
day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding: It’s Only Time – Magnetic Fields
day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral: I Should Have Been Watching You – Hayden
day 25 – a song that makes you laugh
day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 – a song that you wish you could play
day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 – a song from your childhood
day 30 – your favourite song at this time last year

I think I mentioned that I wanted this song played at my wedding in another post so better be consistent. It’s perhaps not the jauntiest of tunes, but the lyrics are very sweet and direct, and if there’s any day you don’t want subtlety or irony it’s your wedding day.

“Why would I stop loving you, a hundred years from now? It’s only time.”

Not convinced I’ll be playing that video though.

Alternatively, there’s Al Green’s fabulous Let’s Get Married, but I’m not sure I want the phrase ‘I’m tired of playing around, a girl in every town’ being played. Or ‘might as well’ for that matter.

day 01 – your favourite song: I Put A Spell On You – Nina Simone
day 02 – your least favourite song: I Believe I Can Fly – R Kelly
day 03 – a song that makes you happy: Uptown Top Ranking – Althea and Donna
day 04 – a song that makes you sad: John Wayne Gacy jr – Sufjan Stevens
day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone: Caroline No – The Beach Boys
day 06 – a song that reminds of you of somewhere: Goodnight Moon – Shivaree
day 07 – a random awesome song: Werewolf – Cat Power
day 08 – a song that you know all the words to: Razzmatazz – Pulp
day 09 – a song that you can dance to: I’m Comin’ On Back To You – Jackie Wilson
day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep: Dying Slowly – Tindersticks
day 11 – a song from your favourite artist: Dead Flowers – Townes van Zandt
day 12 – a song from a band you hate: You Came, You Saw, You Conquered – The Ronettes
day 13 – a song that is a guilty pleasure: Mean When I’m Mad – Eddie Cochran
day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love: Take A Bow – Rihanna
day 15 – a song that describes you: Dr Love – Bobby Sheen
day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate: I Wish It Would Rain Down – Phil Collins
day 17 – another random awesome song: Walk Through The Fire – Mary Gauthier
day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio: Lemon Incest – Serge & Charlotte Gainsbourg
day 19 – a song from your favourite album: Busby Berkeley Dreams – Magnetic Fields
day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry: Kill The Poor – Dead Kennedys
day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy: You Moved In – Smog
day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad: Sad and Beautiful World – Sparklehorse
day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding: It’s Only Time – Magnetic Fields
day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 – a song that makes you laugh
day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 – a song that you wish you could play
day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 – a song from your childhood
day 30 – your favourite song at this time last year

More interesting, I think, is the mindset revealed in the ombudsman report, that people holding elected office are accountable to a higher standard than ordinary members of the public and should guard against saying anything that could be construed as offensive to anyone. I think that this is not a good route to be going down. It could mean that our councillors and MPs will be restricted to automatons who don’t dare even think an original thought, in case it leads to censure by the ombudsman or derided as a ‘gaffe’ in the media.* The alternative is that elected members are constantly on guard, trying to hide what they really think from the public, which I don’t think is very healthy either.

As a poster on the WSC message board said about the Stuart MacLennan deselection

I mean, I should like to think that even I – who have publicly called hundreds of politicians cunts (and worse), made fun of their appearances and made every sick joke under the sun – should be able to make a late dash for public office, should I ever be seized with the burning desire to do so.

As it stands, not only would I be ruled out immediately, but so would absolutely every person I know, including all of you lot.

A rigorously enforced separation between two Venn sets – People You Can Vote For and People You’d Ever Want To Hang Out And Have A Pint With – can only be a bad thing.

Ideally, candidates and holders of elected office would be able to say exactly what they thought, and we’d be able to judge whether or not to elect them. I realise that there could be an issue where a constituent wanted to contact her MP/councillor about an issue, knowing that their representative had strongly opposing views, say if a Scientologist in Adamsdown wanted to speak to Councillor Dixon, then s/he might lack confidence in their willingness to assist. But partly that is true already, and partly that is just another reason for splitting off the constituency and legislative responsibilities of MPs.

*’Gaffe’ seemingly being the appropriate word both for comments that are true but politically controversial (like Clegg accusing Labour of launching an illegal invasion of Iraq) as well as ones that betray a lack of understanding (such as Cameron talking about Britain being a junior partner to the USA during World War II).

Ok, for once, I’m not going to be awkward, this is a sad song for a sad mood, and it even says so in the title. It is beautiful too. From the late, lamented, Mark Linkous -

day 01 – your favourite song: I Put A Spell On You – Nina Simone
day 02 – your least favourite song: I Believe I Can Fly – R Kelly
day 03 – a song that makes you happy: Uptown Top Ranking – Althea and Donna
day 04 – a song that makes you sad: John Wayne Gacy jr – Sufjan Stevens
day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone: Caroline No – The Beach Boys
day 06 – a song that reminds of you of somewhere: Goodnight Moon – Shivaree
day 07 – a random awesome song: Werewolf – Cat Power
day 08 – a song that you know all the words to: Razzmatazz – Pulp
day 09 – a song that you can dance to: I’m Comin’ On Back To You – Jackie Wilson
day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep: Dying Slowly – Tindersticks
day 11 – a song from your favourite artist: Dead Flowers – Townes van Zandt
day 12 – a song from a band you hate: You Came, You Saw, You Conquered – The Ronettes
day 13 – a song that is a guilty pleasure: Mean When I’m Mad – Eddie Cochran
day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love: Take A Bow – Rihanna
day 15 – a song that describes you: Dr Love – Bobby Sheen
day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate: I Wish It Would Rain Down – Phil Collins
day 17 – another random awesome song: Walk Through The Fire – Mary Gauthier
day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio: Lemon Incest – Serge & Charlotte Gainsbourg
day 19 – a song from your favourite album: Busby Berkeley Dreams – Magnetic Fields
day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry: Kill The Poor – Dead Kennedys
day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy: You Moved In – Smog
day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad: Sad and Beautiful World
day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 – a song that makes you laugh
day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 – a song that you wish you could play
day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 – a song from your childhood
day 30 – your favourite song at this time last year