There are sometimes attempts made to rename korfball, so that it doesn’t sound quite so odd to Anglophone ears. This is how I imagine it might be dealt with by a coked-up caricatured management consultancy.
Hi guys. I have to tell y’all it’s a big thrill to help out you coughball players. What’s that? Oh, I’m sorry, “courtball”. I’m sorry, come again?
Hey, I’m only foolin’ with you guys. I know what’s it called. I’ve done my research, you know when you hire Randolph Collier management consultants that we’ll do our homework – as you’ll see when you get our bill, ha ha! But seriously, guys, you ain’t gonna get anyone to play a game that sounds a bit foreign. We didn’t fight two world wars for that. What you need is something in English. Something that says, hey, we’re the best sport there is. I’m just going to throw out a few suggestions here, see what works. Coolball, Hipball, gotta appeal to the kids you know. But maybe that’s a bit too complex for the kids of today, y’know they can only tear themselves away from their play stations for 20 seconds at a time. Maybe they might think Hipball means you can only move the ball with your hip. We gotta be more basic. Let’s get down to the basics. What’s the sport about? It’s a ball sport. You play in a team. Teamball. Oh man, that’s a great name. Teamball™. I mean, doesn’t that tell you everything about the game? And better yet, everyone knows “team” is a good word. Any company that wants to get its workers to bond, they ain’t going to go paintballing anymore, they’ll play teamball.
Great, so we’ve got a new name. But that ain’t enough. All the time you’re sitting back, your competitors are getting ahead of you. You’ve gotta make the game more sexy, more funky, more now.
So, what do you shout when you win the ball? Party!? And what does the word party make you think of? Any suggestions guys? Drinking, yeah, that’s good, … dancing, that too, … relaxing. Yeah that’s it. When you say party, what you’re saying is, we’ve got the ball let’s relax now. That’s the wrong mind set, guys. You want to compete, to fight, to dominate! So, you’ve got the ball back, that’s a chance to hurt the opposition – in sporting terms, of course, ha ha – so what you shout should reflect that. Shout out “
Opportunity” or “potential”, or “opening” or “possibility”. And remember, each opportunity is a new one, so make sure you call something new each time.
Ok guys, I think we making real progress now.