So much beauty out there

October 20, 2006

Which is the perfect AfterWorld for YOU?

Filed under: Afterworld,All — Josh @ 3:01 pm

Heaven

Jay(presenter, male, 30s, dark haired, smooth)
Walking along a deserted beach, talking to camera
So, you’ve got your life all planned out, celibacy, monogamy, polygamy, kids, no kids, job, no job, whatever suits your style. But there is one decision left to make. All those low fat, lo-cal meals and gym workouts can’t put it off forever. He stops, looks straight at the camera. You’re going to die. Pause, then continues walking.

Of course that doesn’t mean that everything has to come to an end. Sure, you can choose to rot away in your coffin, but there’s no need to. Thanks to a variety of deities there are a wide range of paradises, nirvanas, utopias and even dystopias available, sufficient to satisfy the eternal needs of the most demanding of you.

There’s only one problem, with such a bewildering array of options, which one should you choose? It can be very difficult to get balanced information on which to base a decision. There’s no shortage of advocates for any particular choice, but these salespeople always make out that their product is the only possible one, making it very difficult to shop around. Until now. Now, for the first time ever on Network Television, for your entertainment and enlightenment, we present … the definitive guide to the Afterlife. (more…)

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October 15, 2006

Which is the perfect AfterWorld for YOU? (2)

Filed under: Afterworld,All — Josh @ 3:06 pm

Hell

Jay (still standing on the same beach, though now it is evening)

Welcome back. We’ve had a huge response to our program last week, with many people claiming they have renounced sin in order to get into the Kingdom of Heaven. Church attendance has soared amongst subscribers to our show. But now we want to examine a different point of view. Let’s go straight to our reporter, Daryll, as he travels down the famous Road to Hell. (more…)

October 10, 2006

Which is the perfect Afterworld for YOU? (3)

Filed under: Afterworld,All — Josh @ 2:16 pm

Valhalla 

Jay, now standing on the edge of a cliff, looking over a bay. The surroundings are rather rugged, but there is a nice sun shining. The brilliance of the sunlight is naturally no match for the dazzle from his teeth though.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Again, we got a huge response to last week’s episode; with thousands of people expressing their desire to burn in hell. Unfortunately we got a less positive response from our lawyers over our planned episode tonight, examining Islamic paradise. So, instead we’re going to look at an Afterworld with plenty of historical resonance, but one which may be perceived as lacking contemporary relevance. We’re going to demonstrate just how misguided that perception is. Tonight, we’re examining Valhalla. Our reporter tonight is Tyrone.

(more…)

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