Heaven
Jay(presenter, male, 30s, dark haired, smooth)
Walking along a deserted beach, talking to camera
So, you’ve got your life all planned out, celibacy, monogamy, polygamy, kids, no kids, job, no job, whatever suits your style. But there is one decision left to make. All those low fat, lo-cal meals and gym workouts can’t put it off forever. He stops, looks straight at the camera. You’re going to die. Pause, then continues walking.
Of course that doesn’t mean that everything has to come to an end. Sure, you can choose to rot away in your coffin, but there’s no need to. Thanks to a variety of deities there are a wide range of paradises, nirvanas, utopias and even dystopias available, sufficient to satisfy the eternal needs of the most demanding of you.
There’s only one problem, with such a bewildering array of options, which one should you choose? It can be very difficult to get balanced information on which to base a decision. There’s no shortage of advocates for any particular choice, but these salespeople always make out that their product is the only possible one, making it very difficult to shop around. Until now. Now, for the first time ever on Network Television, for your entertainment and enlightenment, we present … the definitive guide to the Afterlife. (more…)