New Laptop Racist

I’ve just bought a laptop which I was feeling very pleased about, until I discovered today that it’s a racist. Perhaps I’m going to have to boycott my laptop.

Places You Don’t Want To Find A Wasp

Number 1 – Inside the shorts you are sleeping in.

Moreover, you don’t want to then locate it by rolling over on top of it. After a sharp pain in my thigh I wondered if I’d somehow managed to get a piece of glass or something in them but was greatly surprised to pull out a living, quivering wasp – I think it must have been pretty shocked too as it didn’t try and sting my hand.

I hurled it off to one side, but it came back and tried to nestle in my hair. This was pushing things too far and I grabbed the nearest book to hand and tried to crush it (I should note at this point it was no longer in my hair, I may be stupid, but I’m not insane). This took some time, as again and again it crawled away from a vicious blow, and I was determined not to leave it wounded and angry. Eventually it expired (or at least feigned it effectively) whereupon I noticed – and I swear this is a true story – that the book I’d been using was Aristophanes: The Wasps.

In the next installment I shall hunt down a whale, armed only with a copy of Moby Dick.

Merry Xmas

David Mitchell – Cloud Atlas

It’s a difficult task to get a reader immersed in a story, rip it away from them mid-flow, replacing it with a completely different story, set in another period, told in another voice. But Mitchell doesn’t just manage this, he repeats the trick four times, before reversing the process in the second half of the book to bring the stories to their conclusions. The stories are supposed to be linked, but the connections are slight and each story could stand alone, without reference to the others. What keeps the page turning is the spellbinding quality of the prose, and Mitchell’s mastery of language.

The Year in Nonsense

Ben Goldacre’s year review.

Wilkie Collins – No Name

I read this book on the 12 hour trip back from Edinburgh, and it was the ideal read for that sort of situation. A proper door stop example of the Victorian novel, with a genuinely gripping storyline.

Hmm, let me think…

…I’m going with “No” here, I reckon.

As opposed to Bunty for boys?

Bunty for Girls, Summer Special (1972)

This came free with the Guardian a while back. While I wasn’t imagining a modern feminist progressive perspective, it was a bit shocking to see the expectations for women born only a few years before me.

Debut Album – Ian Cockburn and the Whole World

It’s been craftily released just in time for the Christmas rush, but perhaps shortsightedly after the polls for album of the year, hell, albums of the decade, have concluded.

Yes, it is Wayward Buskers by Ian Cockburn and the Whole World. 15 slice of lo-fi pop awesomeness from the talented brother, at a very modest price of £4. To get your copy, either contact Ian directly or put in an order with me.

I dislike encouraging independent thought on this blog, but if you are unwilling to take my word for it (perhaps you may think I’m biased or something) then some of the tracks can be heard at myspace

Estimated release date for the first Seven Inches album: 2017.

Edinburgh

Edinburgh is, I have no doubt, the loveliest city in the UK. Admittedly I’ve never been to Hull, but I’m willing to stick my neck out on the issue. The centre of the city is almost entirely made up of beautiful buildings with the Old Town and the Georgian New Town complementing each other perfectly. Neither the international shopping chains nor the plethora of tartan tourist traps can outweigh its appeal.